Wednesday, January 5, 2011

5 years into a few pages.





Growing up I had 2 days, my birthday and my "Airplane Day". My Airplane Day is in May, and it is the day that I arrived at the DTW airport to meet my new mom and set foot on American soil. When I was young, having 2 days was great! The more attention the better! When I got older during middle school and high school, having balloons delivered to me in class for my Airplane Day was more attention than I wanted, especially when I had to explain it...and when it get's to high school... Airplane Day does not sound as cool as one might think! :)

I had asked my mom a while ago to see if she could dig up my old adoption papers and anything else that would provide me with more information about Korea. The ones in Korean unfortunately I do not understand. I will be working on getting those translated. For now, what I read was really... not too exciting! It stated I was handed over by the permission of the Seoul Family Court on January 16, 1988 to Korea Social Services. Korea Social Services were responsible along with Foreign Adoption Consultants to handle the final processes of custody and my emigration to the US. I came over to the US and met my adoptive Mom in May 1988, hence the "Airplane Day!"

On the HO JUK DEUNG BON page (family register) it states that my family origin is Han Yang. After some research I realized that Han Yang is a really common place for korean orphans to come from. Father: no record, Mother: no record. I guess it would have been too easy to have the names and pictures of my biological parents right there. I emailed Korean Social Service with a few questions of how to find out more information on my biological parents. They responded with general statements of me having to fill out an official form along with payment along with it takes time and if they are alive still (which I doubt) that they would need to give permission as well.

I know I must be content with the possibility of never knowing, and I think I am okay with that. There are tons of people out there who never meet their biological parents, and they are not lucky enough to have been raised by a loving family. Never knowing also allows me the luxury to day dream about the possibilities of who they could be, and anyone who knows me knows I have a wild imagination! I am still planning to visit Seoul this year and finding my orphanage hopefully. I'll keep posting as I research more information. Thank you for your support and words of encouragement!!

4 comments:

  1. Hey girl! I'm adopted as well, only mine took place in Michigan. But I can TOTALLY related to everything you are saying. It's wierd to see to know that a few pages are the only evidence of your birth!
    I love reading your blogs and look forward to finding out how your journey ends!

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  2. Oddly enough, I was just going through my adoption paperwork and found my Ho Juk Deung Bon. I saw that my "family origin" was Han Yang and decided to google, Korean Family Origin Han Yang and your site came up. I don't usually post on blogs but this one really moved me. So much of what you have written hits very close to home.

    In 2006 I left to go to Korea to volunteer at the Baby Home (orphanage) for Eastern Social Welfare Society and teach English for a year. I was stuck in this gray area of always feeling like I didn't belong, similar to you, I have had to deal with comments all my life, from jokes about my eyes to, questions from random strangers like, "what are you?" and "where are you from?", constantly pointing out that I'm different and am still not considered "American" in many peoples' eyes. I'm used to these comments now, and for most it's just curiosity, not meant to be rude or hurtful. Then there are those drunk idiots at the bar like the guy who yelled Konichiwa at me last weekend when I was out with some friends. I was hoping to figure out where I really "belonged" and I was wondering if Korea would have the answers for me. I also wanted to learn about my heritage and give back to other babies waiting to be adopted.

    Every adoptee has a unique experience. Many Korean adoptees from all over the world go back to Korea and they each have a different story to tell. Thank you for sharing yours. The things you go through and the emotional ups and downs are your own.

    I hated Korea the first three months I was there. I was met with animosity and racism. I looked Korean, I thought myself to be Korean, and yet, I wasn't Korean in their eyes because I didn't grow up there and more than anything, because I didn't speak Korean. I had a few very negative incidents at the begging of my stay, but once I pushed through I saw a different side of Korea. I came to accept Korea for what it was, good and bad, and I actually came to love it there. Part of me will always consider Korea home. I thought I'd never get there, but by the end of my stay, I had come to terms with a lot of questions and doubts. I had a better understanding of who I was. And although there was not enough information about my birth mother to seek her out, I found that I didn't need to. I simply left here a letter thanking her for her sacrifice and letting her know I turned out okay and that she made the right decision. If she ever does go to my adoption agency seeking information, she'll find a letter waiting for her. As cheesy as it is, what I learned is that home is where the heart is and where your heart lies isn't up to anyone else but you.

    I wish you luck in all your endeavors. If you need help with trying to get answers, seeking out records, or finding your biological family, try and contact G.O.A.L (Global Overseas Adoption Link). Best wishes and remember Love is not given by others carelessly but rather by choice. When love finds you, whether it's a parent's, a friend's or your husbands, and maybe even one day, a son or daughter, the best thing to do is to accept it and reciprocate it ten fold.

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  3. Thank you both so much for your comments. I am really moved. I have a problem with finishing things I start - my attention deviates, and suddenly I want to move on to bigger, better things. Your comments have made me realize that I need this more than I thought, and that if I don't finish this now that I've started, I will always come back, but might be too late. Now is the time, and thank you both for sharing parts of your story, which is incredible too!

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  4. Hello,

    My situation is similar to Mari Kims, as to how I came upon your blog.

    I know it has been over four years but I was wondering if you found any more information on your biological parents? I recently discovered my adoption papers and have the same family origin, Han-Yang. I am just starting my search and like you, do not read Korean. Any information would be appreciated!

    Thank you!

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