Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Recovering Memories

I recently had lunch with someone I had not seen in 20 years. We were in the same orphanage, we were adopted 2 months apart by families no more than 30 miles from each other! She and I were friends at the orphanage and also had play dates together after we were adopted. When we had lunch this past weekend, she revealed information that I am unable to remember. She said we would get treated once in a while with a slice of tomato with sprinkled sugar as a dessert... and even more rarely, as a special treat, we would get rice with a poached egg. She said there was not alot of money nor food at the orphanage so meals like this would indeed be special. She explained when one kid would get in trouble we would all get punished by having to sit against a wall with our arms raised until someone would come around and hit our hands with a ruler...signaling the end of our discipline. Sometimes I think that remembering like my friend would be just as hard, perhaps harder than not remembering.

Although the discipline may sound harsh, I believe that in Korea, discpline of this manner was normal. My mom said my therapist "Jerry" who I had when I arrived til I was 12 or 13, told her I had memories of my grandmother who must have lived in my home in Korea would discipline me with a long stick or a hanger. I also know that I slept on the floor on a thin mat or mattress both at my home and at the orphanage. This explains why during the first six months I kept falling out of my daybed! I am grateful that starting this journey has helped me reveal more things about me that I would not have known and also has connected me to a long lost friend. In the end my goal is to walk down the aisle towards my future knowing my past. I want to say the vows of giving myself completely by knowing what exactly I am offering.

The wedding date is set on August 27, 2010. I have an opportunity to travel to South Korea either by the end of May or wait until next year to go with my friend. Perhaps this is too much to handle right now with everything going on, but I also know that this is a trip I want to make soon. I will continue to share my journey and hopefully see what it evolves into, and see what I evolve into as well.